Moms spend the bulk of their day performing selfless acts of love for their children. Self-sacrifice is the very definition of motherhood, right? So self-care must not be as important for a mom as everyone makes it out to be. WRONG.
Neglecting yourself for the sake of your family will only lead to your detriment. It doesn’t make you a better mother. It doesn’t give your children a better childhood. It just leaves you feeling depleted and unable to give your best to the ones who deserve it the most. Completely denying your basic wants and needs doesn’t make you a better mother, just a raggedy one. Self-care is vital to a woman’s happiness, femininity, and overall peace of mind. It’s difficult to get “me-time” as a mother, so here are some intentional habits you can develop to break the burnout cycle:
1. Don’t Rush
When we’re in a hurry it’s easy to prioritize the needs of our children, and put our needs to the side. Slow down. Your children have to eat and you’re the one who has to feed them. Don’t just eat the scraps of whatever meal you make them. Fix yourself a plate too, and make it just as pretty!
Remember, you are your baby’s everything. So, if you’re happy, then they’ll be happy. It’s ok to take care of yourself FIRST sometimes.
You don’t need to rush and eat so that you can clean up or keep the baby from wrecking the living room. Because the baby is going to do that regardless. Preparation for the next activity can wait. So, take your time and eat something, sis.
It may even be a good idea to wake up before your children, and eat breakfast first so that you’ll already have the fuel you need to make it through the first part of the day.
2. Do Unto Yourself as You Do For Others
After you get your babies dressed in their cute little outfits with their matching bows, spend some time on your hair and makeup. Even though your baby may need a diaper change immediately, or might scream for a snack as if she’s never had a meal in her life–do it anyway. I know you’re tired and it took a lot of work to get everyone else ready. But you need to spend as much effort fixing yourself up as you did on your babies before you move on to the next task. Self-care is important for a mom to actually be a good mom. You’ll feel better and more apt to perform your duties when you don’t look like the crypt keeper.
Photo by Marcus Lewis on Unsplash
Every time you fill your toddler’s sippy cup up, make an effort to drink a few sips of water yourself. I won’t tell you to try to nap when the baby naps because…responsibilities. But as a rule of thumb, whatever you do to nurture and care for your family, try to do it for yourself too.
3. Use Headphones
You probably know this scene well: Your hubby, a family member, or a friend has offered to keep an eye on the baby while you do something for yourself. 5 minutes after you leave them the baby is screaming at the top of her lungs. Now all you can think about is getting back to comfort her and make sure she’s alright. Logically, you know she’ll be fine. However, it’s impossible to relax while you know your child is not at ease. There‘s some sort of biological switch inside a mother that goes off and drives her to act whenever she hears her child’s cry. Taking a relaxing bath with your child yowling in the background is not a break.
Having to constantly come back in the room to help whoever is “helping you” get the baby comfortable isn’t lightening your load.
It’s actually more exhausting. The solution? Give the caretaker everything they need up front. Retreat to your safe space to do what you gotta do, and plug in your earphones/air pods/ noise cancelling headphones. Get your 15 minutes of uninterrupted downtime because you deserve it.
4. Set A Schedule
Photo by Alexa Williams on Unsplash
Sometimes it’s hard for husbands to understand the burden of a mother, just like we as mothers can’t begin to understand the weight that men carry on their shoulders. But we need each other’s help and support to thrive.
The success of our families is totally dependent upon how well we can work together.
Incorporate a weekly schedule in which you each get a set break to do something you like. Work together with your husband to come up with a plan that allows you to have some recurring scheduled time away. This way, everyone will know what to expect and can plan accordingly. You’ll have something concrete to look forward to when the days are long and the nights are longer.
Self-care is important because…
If you’re like me, from the very second you wake up in the morning, someone needs something from you. And they keep needing something until the moment you close your eyes at night. And even after that, the baby may need to nurse at 2am. Or, your toddler might want to climb in your bed and snuggle. It’s hard to get a break. You can’t do everything at once. And it’s easy to put your needs on the back-burner in order to focus on the needs of your family. But if you do this every day and every hour, eventually it’ll catch up to you.
So, is self-care really important for a mom?
You bet it is! Your body is the garden that your children grew in. Your mind feeds their minds, and you are the vessel that will facilitate their life experiences. Your children are important, but so are you! You’re priceless, so treat yourself like the treasure that you are.
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